From the beginning of our parenting days we have firmly believed that kids could do many jobs around the house, and that they would benefit greatly by working with us. We followed the adage that if something needed to be done, we all worked to get the job completed. Afterall, we all live in our home and we all would do the necessary work that needed to be done. However, we never assigned chores or made out a chore list. I really saw no need for it. For instance when the bathrooms need to be cleaned I’ve left it up to the boys to decide who does which task or which bathroom. Same with cleaning common areas in the house or performing outside jobs. I have visited homes and seen one child who is dusting, vacuuming, mopping the kitchen floor while the other kids are watching tv or playing pc games because it was that child’s day to do the house chores. That doesn’t happen in our home, we are a team and we work together, and play together.

For us though the boys haven’t just joined in on the household chores but have helped tremendously on the many remodeling and maintenance jobs around the home over the years. These have ranged from replacing the cars brakes to laying patio tile to tearing out the old kitchen earlier in the summer. So when my friend Michele sent me a link to The Washington Posts article about how important it is to challenge teenagers to do HARD THINGS I just sat and chuckled. Look at the latest task the boys have been given.

Located just off our kitchen is a half-bath with fixtures that DH just doesn’t care for. Its days are numbered but for six long years I have looked at the previous owner’s paint job and wanted to change it. DH asked me to wait, wait till the kitchen is being done. Its days are over.

Boys the toilet must go.

DH loves fine cabinet work, and this one just didn’t have a chance.

Boys the cabinet must go.

We have new ideas for how this half-bath will look and gave the boys the responsibility of gutting the room. They have handled the task from beginning to end.  Today they tackled the tile floor.

“Teens are extraordinarily competent.”

Taking out all these fixtures and the floor tile is a hard thing that has taken taken them out of their comfort zone. .

Teamwork and collaboration — just look at this 16yo and 12yo working together to get a tough job done.

Ever tear out a bathroom toilet, not very exciting but it will build character.  Maybe this is why we haven’t experienced teenage rebellion although they did try to rebel about this job.  Neither one ever wants to do this job again but they got this hard thing done. 

Tomorrow they lay tile and put the room back together.

Remember the kitchen, that lovely ugly room where I was required to preform miracles using equipment that did not work?  If you don’t just click on the kitchen category and visit that ugly space.  Then DH performed a few miracles while I was out west.

This is still a work-in-process but here’s what I came home to! The major change is a simple move or kitchen-stretch. We transfered 3′ from the eating area of the kitchen into the work area by simple moving the island 3′ away from the sink. This has made a huge difference.

But let me take you on a little tour of the new space. The tile floor is new and was laid by my talented DH. The pattern is called a pinwheel and I love the layout. And that’s what matters, right? That I love it.

Cabinet doors are coming. The backside of the island will hold the microwave and shelves for all my cookbooks, and a wine-rack. The trashcan will be hidden in the finished kitchen.

So, back to the tour. See that doorway, that’s where I was standing when I took the first photo.

The refrigerator is counter-depth which means there isn’t anything sticking out into the work-zone or walking aisle-way. It is shallow and I hope it works out. The stove is a 4-burner gas unit with a center grill. Our last kitchen had a grill and we constantly used it through the winter. Below the stovetop are two deep drawers, and on either side are two deep drawers for all my pots and pans. See that giant hood, it can really suck the smelly air right out of the kitchen.

The very top cabinets will have glass fronts and will display my ceramic pot collection. Yes, they will have lights and if you look closely you’ll see the wires that DH is pulling through.   There will be under the counter lighting too.

I haven’t decided what to put in the space above the refrigerator though. If you have a suggestion please leave it in the comment section. I’d love some ideas.

Oh, all the cabinet shelves are totally adjustable too.  DH’s going to start making the cherry cabinet doors in mission style soon.  He’s made all the cabinets too.  What talent.

Look at that corner cabinet. Do you see that it is curved? DH did that! He is such a woodworker!

I love the countertops but really need information on the do’s and don’ts of owning granite. If you have any tips please leave them in the comment section. I could use some advice like when do I need to seal it again? What cleaners can I use on it and which ones should I avoid?

The sink is HUGE and DEEP and a single bowl. Ahhh, it is fun to use. And that double oven will get lots of use when we go baking cookies or having a Thanksgiving style meal. The space above the oven has vertical slots so that my cookie sheets and other flat cookware can easily be stored.

This end of the island has a lift mechanism for my kitchen aid which will swing the mixer up when I’m in need of it and down and out of sight when it isn’t needed. The large open spaces will have pull out shelves in those cabinets. Nothing to be lost in the back corner anymore.

And here was one of the kitchen surprises. My TV, located on the wall, out of the way. Now if I could just lock it on HGTV.

Here’s my latest decision issue. The space above the cooktop, this 36×36″ space, calls for something special. A picture. A design. Something that pulls the kitchen together. In our last kitchen I had ceramic tile as the backsplash material and I loved it. I loved how easily it cleaned up and always looked fresh and new, never old like painted dry wall.

On Saturday I visited my tile guy and spent some time searching through his wares. Here’s what I came up with, a 24×24″ marble medallion for the vertical area behind the cooktop. The tumbled marble 4×4″ square on the lower right is what we are thinking of using as the backsplash material, between the countertops and cabinets.

Does it fit?

A little over a year ago we were visiting my Dad, enjoying the State College Art’s Festival.   It seems like ions ago.   At one point Mark shared with my Dad that he didn’t like an expression that I was using.  “Granddad”, he said, ”Mom says CRAP all the time and I don’t like it.  It is a four-letter word too and she shouldn’t use it.”

Dad replied to his grandson, “Tell her you don’t like it, afterall,  An intelligent man does not need to use four letter words.”

Ahh, such an often heard saying through my teen years but never spoken to me.  Dad would say this to my older brother as he spoke those forbidden words, GOSH, DARN.   It was late in the 60’s and definitely a different world of forbidden four-letter words but the message resonated as my Dad repeated one of his favorite sayings:  An intelligent man does not need to use four letter words.

The only time I ever heard my Dad utter a four-letter word was when he was telling an off-color joke and that only happened well after I had kids.  Working as an engineer in the male-dominated engineering world and working in manufacturing meant too that I was not naive about the scope-and-sequence of four-letter words but my Dad’s saying resonated with me often as I listened to co-workers speak.  Oh I thought as I listened to the worst offender, my Divisional Manager John, if he only knew my Dad’s saying perhaps he wouldn’t pepper his language with all those F#(& and SH($.

I like the saying and as my boys approached their teen years I repeated my Dad’s saying to them.  This time however it was while we watched a TV show, or when we overheard some person speaking.  An intelligent man does not need to use four letter words.    We’ve had fun with the saying too; WAIT, Mom, you can’t say that word since it is a 4-letter word.  HAHAHA   The message has gotten to them though that an intelligent person would have a wide-range of words at their disposable to express their feelings and as such should not need to resort to using those F#(& and SH($.   I’m not going to sit here and try to get you to think that I’ve never used a four-letter word since sometimes the audience seems really to only understand four-letter words but they are few and far between for sure.   I do like that saying though and like that my boys have caught onto it too.

Growing up my parents had a couple more sayings that while heard were not repeated as often to us.  My mom often said;   If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.    I can’t ever remember saying this to my boys.  

My Dad ended most every meal with;

I’ve had an elegant sufficiency, any more would be an overabundancy

Nice intelligent words.

While I heartily agree with Frankie at KitchenTableLearners that the freedom homeschooling provides us is one reason I love homeschooling, at this moment it is not the one foremost in my mind. And even though we did take full advantage of that freedom this past year when we went to State College to care for my dying father, and then when we left for a 2-month west field trip in mid-May while our area schools were all still in session, at this moment it is not the one foremost in my mind.

No, the reason I love homeschooling can’t be summed up in one word but let me share the ramifications of homeschooling that I saw throughout our west trip that are the reasons I love homeschooling.

Point #1 — As we hiked along the boys would hike side-by-side discussing whatever they felt like talking about. I never told them to hike side-by-side but they chose to be that close. I really doubt that they would be such good friends if we didn’t homeschool. The boys, being four years apart, would never be in the same school if they attended our local public school. Never ride the bus together, never run into each other in the hallway, and probable never have the same teacher. Since our local town is growing by leaps and bounds the younger would never even be in the same building as the older one had attended. This would mean different buildings, different teachers, different life-experiences and what common ground would they have to relate to each other when the vast majority of their childhood would be spent having different experiences? Having been in such a situation growing up I know that with my siblings this created a chasm between them and me. We did not have a common educational experience which meant that we also did not have common experiences to bind us together. Having parents that abide by the ‘Siblings without Rivalry ‘ book’s directives helps their relationship too, but being homeschooled together has given them time together to have many common experiences.

Point #2 — At Lassen Volcano National Park we sat at the trailhead and discussed whether or not we should hike up the mountain to the top of Lassen Volcano. At the trailhead was a huge sign warning hikers that there was snow on the trail and an ice axe was advised. We had none and even if we had one, training is needed to learn how to use one properly. In the car next to us a woman was gathering her gear and she looked like she was going to go hike the trail. She looked my age, or slightly older, and carried at least as much extra body weight as I did. Geez, if she could do this trail then maybe we could too. At least we could try. We talked with her. We all talked with her. Time and again I have seen this happen. My boys are comfortable speaking to persons regardless of their age.

While she headed up the trail we sat and ate lunch before we too headed up the trail. It wasn’t too long before we met up with Cumba and she joined our hiking trio. We made it to the volcano top, 5 miles round trip and 2000′ elevation gain and lots of snow to hike through. Once there we enjoyed the view, ate some trail food and invited Cumba to join us for dinner at our campsite. The boys chatted with her as they would with an old buddy, taught her their favorite card game and invited her to join us for dinner the following night too. I wonder if they would be so comfortable with persons outside of their grade-group if they were in public school. I really doubt it and so I love this about homeschooling: they are comfortable being with older folks, younger folks and even folks their own age. To them age does not matter and I love that homeschooling has enabled this to happen.

Point #3 — During those two dinners and on the trail Cumba, a public school employee, continuously praised my boys actions to me. She admired their manners, how polite they were, how well-spoken they were, how well behaved they were, how pleasant they were to be with, and how nice they treated each other. I love homeschooling because it has meant that I am with them reinforcing behaviors that I want there and correcting negative behaviors. Being polite, being thoughtful, being well-behaved, speaking without using curse words and exhibiting nice manners to others are characteristics that being home together has given me the time and opportunities to reinforce those behaviors. I love homeschooling for giving me time, lots of time to develop well-mannered young men and it is really showing these days.

Point #4 — Driving into Glacier National Park with the window wipers going my thoughts were only on finding a campsite and thinking through, planning out, what I needed to tell the boys about setting up a tent in the rain. In all our many days of camping this would be the first time they were going to set up a tent in the rain. To say I was preoccupied with this is an understatement. I did not want our stuff to get wet and that was all I was thinking about. We found a campsite, started unloading the trunk to get to the tent and were greeted by Ann from the neighboring campsite.

It took the boys no time at all to strike up a conversation with Ann, a public school teacher and by the evening she was sharing dinner with us and learning from Michael the ins-and-outs of making S’Mores. Ditto Points 2 and 3 again.

And that’s why I love homeschooling, for the time it has given me to be with my sons to help them develop appropriate social skills.

Do you know how much energy a 16yo male has? Well, if you have one, and one who is very weight conscience and concerned about being in great-shape then you already know that their energy level far exceeds their mom’s. At least mine far exceeds my energy level.

It is fruitless to explain this little fact to them too. At least it is pointless to waste time explaining to mine that a 50yo just might not have the same get-up-and-go that a 16yo has. Since that didn’t stop him from expecting me to keep right up with him and be able to hike 15 miles one day, 10 the next and 20 the day after, we hiked. And we aren’t talking about little walks in the parks either. When we hike we each carry a pack containing 3 liters of water or 6.6#, food, rain gear, warm jacket, first aid kit, flashlight, matches, camera, binoculars, and a bit more food. Our day packs added on about 20 pounds of gear to be carried on our little hikes. Little, right <grin>. That extra weight sure adds to the effort it takes to move, to walk, and particularly to climb up a mountain.

The 16yo also is not satisfied unless we are hiking to the top of a mountain which usually meant we were climbing 2000, or 3000, or even 4000 feet UP, in addition to hiking 10 or 15 or 20 miles. In a day. And a hike means that the trail you are following might be a nice slippery mud surface, or gravel, or rocks, or as was the case on most of our hikes snow. Snow is not fun to hike through for any distance at all. No, not at all.

It isn’t a bad thing having an energetic 16yo by any means. We saw so much more, and obtained an up-close-and-personal appreciation for each place we visited that we would not have had by just car hopping from park to park. I did enjoy the hiking and by the trips end we had hiked 300 miles, which translated into a nice weight loss for me. A very needed weight loss for me. I dropped from size 16/18 to size 14/12. Not bad at all. It also translated into a body that is in rather good shape now too. To keep this up and continue on the weight losing cycle we have exercised for at least one hour every day since we returned home, and most days it is closer to 2 hours.  On the exercise machine the settings are all much higher too which tells me that my muscles are much stronger.

I’ve got a bit more to take off and when we go on our next trip I want to be in shape before we leave so that maybe, just maybe I can run up that trail with the 16yo.

We arrived back home last Wednesday night from our 2-month cross-country camping trip. A great adventure but with very sparadic internet service at best I couldn’t blog. And without electricity my pc couldn’t run for me to journal and then transfer the stuff for you to read later. Oh well, I’ll bring up what we did and how it affected us over the coming weeks and months, maybe.

Coming into the house late Wednesday night we found some things better then I expected—the toilet did not need to be cleaned before we used it. That was a huge improvement over its condition when we returned from our last west trip. Some things were not quite as we expected either.

The kitchen, ahhh what a space. It is not completed but it is very functional. The to-do list is long and once I find my camera I’ll shoot some photos of the space. I do love the new counters, the tile floor, and appliances, and the extra-deep sink that you could bath a 5yo in. Not that I would bath a 5yo out in the open but it is that big. The cabinets are going to be beautiful once the shelves and doors are in place. And I love how the kitchen seems so much larger just because we moved the island 3′ away from the sink. It is going to be a fun place to cook in.

I didn’t waste anytime and spent Thursday and Friday cleaning the mud room. TWO days to clean the dust and dirt from the cabinets, walls and floor. OK, I did a few loads of laundry too but not much else. Saturday I cleaned the upstairs hallway, stairway, living room, and foyer. They weren’t as bad but if you’ve ever had drywall work done in your home then you know what kind of dust and dirt I was dealing with. Sunday I started in on the school room and finally today I am finished with this dumping-ground-room. Every book was dusted, 106 books were removed from the shelves and offered to some homeschool friends, and two huge trashbags of junk were removed. The room looks ready for school to begin.

School. It hit me though as I dusted off our books that this past winter/spring I hadn’t spent any time gazing through the Sonlight catalog or longingly searching hs sites for just the right history or science books for this coming year. I must have reached that old-homeschool-age where one knows that they have most everything they need or that everything will be alright if we don’t read or do what everyone else is raving about. Strange since I have never been in this spot before. It is a comfortable spot to be in, sure of what we are doing, aware that everything will be just fine if we don’t have the item on our shelf. Really, it will be.

Oh I did place a Rainbow Resource order but it was for a few workbooks that Michael (ScienceKid) had used and now I need a set for Mark (MilitaryKid) but there weren’t any other items in the order. No fluff, no books that I knew I just had to have to make this coming year just-right. Nope. Those days are past. The books we have will do just fine, we’ll make them work or do without. Flexibility, oh my, did we ever learn to be flexible on our trip. But that’s a post for another day. Michael has finished pulling the staples from the kitchen floor which means he is waiting for me to give him his next job.

The family room awaits us. All the furniture must be moved from the room—into my clean living room—the carpet pulled up so the hardwood floor that will run from the kitchen eating area into the family room can be laid.