Mt. Pleasant Classical Academy

Recently when H*****, a hs’ing mom, shared that her kids were fighting, all the time, and she knew that some of it was because she was tired, frustrated,….. I recommended that she might find some interesting tips in the book Siblings without Rivalry. Then on park day this Wednesday H***** told me that she had indeed picked up the Siblings without Rivalry book just as I had suggested and had started reading it. From the book she was identifying several items she was doing that could be causing the strife between her four, and was beginning to see how her actions could be causing the conflicts between her children. Well, on Thursday she shared how her one DD had taken another DD’s candy without permission. Normally this would have led to screaming, meltdowns, and lots of anger between the two girls but instead she had taken the books recommendation on how to handle it and was amazed with the results. H***** is now seeing that there is hope that things can be different in her home soon. I’m so happy for her, and for her children. I was once convinced that siblings always fought, always disliked each other unless some strange miracle had occurred and that it was just in their nature to be like that with each other. But change is possible.

Just like I believed that some folks seem to be born knowing that they want kids, can’t wait to have kids, and then there are others who do not reach that decision until much later in life, and some who decide to never have children. For much of my life I was in the later camp, at least until I visited my sister while on a business trip. Her two children at the time were 12 and 14yo, and oh my, did they get along. Just as one would dream siblings to get along. It was wonderful to watch and something that in my 20+ years had never, ever witnessed. You see, it had been 12 yrs since I had seen my sister or been with her family so this was the first time I was getting to see her family in action, and see the harmony.

Sometime during that weekend sis inquired as to why we had not started a family. My reply was simple; siblings fight with each other and with their parents, why just look at our own family, the one we grew up in. Fighting between us was very normal and we were not interested in bringing that strife into our lives. Wisely she recommended two actions; if you want to do things differently then your parents then read books and watch other families, and two, start by reading the book Siblings Without Rivalry. I soon picked the book up, read it from cover to cover, saw my family in the cartoons of ‘what not to do’, and decided that maybe, just maybe, we could raise our kids differently and maybe, just maybe they would get along. It took about another 5 yrs before ScienceKid came along, and 4yrs more for MilitaryKid to come. Very soon we needed to put the Siblings without Rivalry tips into action. Much too soon. I remember the moment as if it was yesterday. MK was just home from the hospital and was being held by Grandma. SK, just 4years old was sitting beside her admiring his new, little brother. Grandma quickly started to inform SK how this new baby brother was going to steal his toys, how his mom was going to direct all of her attention from him and shower it upon this new baby, and how he needed to be ready for all these changes. I stepped in-between these worlds and squelched such ideas. Not in my home. Not in my family. Never. That world would not be our world.

Whenever anyone mentions to me that their kids are fighting and not getting along Siblings without Rivalry is always the first book I recommend for them to read. Hopefully they will gain at least one tidbit that will decrease the strife. And so, that was why I recommended the book to H****, and why I continue to refer to the book whenever there is a little friction between my boys. Over the years I have had numerous folks mention to me that I am so lucky that my boys get along and enjoy each others company. No it isn’t luck folks. It is hard work and following what I learned in Siblings without Rivalry. I know that if I started parenting differently they would start fighting with each other. I know, I have first hand knowledge.